What is this terrible feeling that won't go away? Why does it make me feel sick? Those are the two questions I keep asking myself every time I feel the way I feel now.
Last night I learned something very important that changed my life. I learned from "someone" very special and important to me that just because they don't say that they love you, doesn't mean they don't.
In my previous post, I mentioned that I was missing "something". At the time, I didn't know what it was that I was missing. I had said that I was going to go on a journey in order to find out but now its looking like I might not have to after all. I think I might have found what I have been missing for all of these years. We'll see...
It's 3:26 A.M. and I still can't get to sleep. I think part of the reason I haven't been able to sleep that well lately is because I been trying to figure out what it is that I am missing in my life. Everytime I listen to this song, its like its trying to let me know what it is that I'm missing. So I have decided that I am going to go on a journey to find the answer. To find what I am missing, whether its an experience, a feeling, a person, whatever it is, I'm going to find it and this song is going to help me do that. Whenever I play the song, I leave it on infinite loop and I just listen. Even though it is sung in a different language then my own, its almost as if I can understand what she is saying and the meaning behind it. I am going to keep on playing this song until I figure out the mystery of what it is I'm missing in my life.
Well it's my first of many blog posts on here and there's so much I want to say that I don't even know where to begin. I only have four more days of summer school then I can finally go back to work. It's hard to believe how fast college has gone by for me and I'm not sad about it at all. Just knowing that I only have three more semesters until I graduate keeps motivating me to keep focused on the track I have layed out before me. All of it is going to be worth it and before I know it, I'll be living in San Francisco starting a new career and a new life. Many things are going to change and I'm going to be ready for it when it happens, but until then, I'll going to be enjoying what time I have left.
